RIP SCOTT

My cousin Scott passed away two days ago.I haven't really come to terms with it yet.It doesn't seem real.My family is taking this bad.Though we have had many deaths in our family this one was the most unexpected and tragic.Scott was only 25 years old.Its a hard thing to think about just knowing that you will never see him again.The wake is Thursday,and the funeral is Friday.Though im coping with it now,when Friday comes around i think everything is going to set in and im going to realize that hes gone.Its just a hard thing to process.
REST IN PIECE SCOTT.
YOUR VERY WELL MISSED.
IF ONLY THIS NEVER HAPPENED..

All those memories

I need a friend.Yes i have friends but i seem like im losing all of them just because ide rather just hangout and enjoy each others company then rather go to a party,or just be social.And not to help,im about to lose the one person who i need the most right now.I come home and sit in my room.I do this all week.Every day is the same.I write,and come to realize that isn't helping me anymore re leave stress.I cant stand my school,and a single fucking person in it.At this point and time i feel like im the only one walking this planet.I don't like showing my feelings.Unless its anger or being upset about something.And im trying to change that,but its a hard thing for me.I guess in a way im just slowly rotting away.Right along with this town..

Ive lost everything.This is all i have left.

I have had enough of this life.I cant sleep anymore.I cant even open my eyes and look around without feeling like its not worth living.The one thing that would of brought me out of this slump slipped from under me and i lost it.The one thing that would of made everything worth living i fucking lost.
And all that's left,is a constant miss understanding.And a heart not worth mending.

Fuck

Sun down Sun up
I speak in sarcasm to relate to all the things i appreciate
I
lie in rhythm to open doors I follow suit and just want more
My reputation is
the same its been and I don't care what happens
I read the book so I know the
end
I've probably said too much
But I've never felt more accomplished
I'm
losing sleep
I'm losing friends
I've got a love hate love
With the city I'm
in
I'll count the hours
Having just one wish
If I'm doing fine
There's no
point to this.

Im lost

im so sick of always hearing,all those sad songs on the radio
all day its there to remind another sensitive guy that hes lost and alone
i hate a favorite restaurant,a favorite movie,or favorite show
we would stay all up through the night we would laugh and not lie,never answer the phone

i cant forgive
i cant forget
cant give in
what went wrong cause you said this was right

you fucked up my life...

So

i finally saw title fight.It was so good.It was a good show and a fun night until two tough guys decided to try and jump my friend.Other than that it was sweet seeing title fight.Borderlands new stuff is Very good as well.I don't know were i really stand at this point.For a while i was feeling like a was in a black box and i couldn't open my eyes.But it seems like every thing is brighter,better.Lets hope things stay this way.I don't wanna go back to that feeling again.Ever....

one month

Today is thursday march 5.And its also one month that tessie mae has been gone.I stayed home today because I have to much on my mind.When I thaught things we're starting to look up,well I guess I just got my hopes up.Just laying here I can't believe you've all ready been gone a month,I still feel the same pain as if it just happened last night.Maybe something will go my way.I dony want anymore negative in my life.

.

I fucking lost everything.At this point nothing fucking matters.I really wouldn't care if this whole world came to an end.My head is so lost and confused.Say what you really mean cause I don't fucking care.IJustDontCare.
Are you scared of being alone?
Cause I am,im lost with out you.
Are you scared of leaving tonight?
Cause I am,im lost with out you.